If only something can make me smile right now..

 

Avril Lavigne - Wish you were here (I wish I could cry like her now)

Not really a great start to the first blog post of the year. It is now 2am, and about 2 hrs ago..or should i say 3 was chinese new year.. yaay! happy chinese new yr ^^ (received any redpockets?) im pretty happy that a new year has begun and that I've had quite a good 2011 and I've learnt a lot and hope this year would be a fun-filled, adventurous year as this yr were all goonnaa diee -dun dun dun dunn-. :) ENJOY LIFE TO THE FULLEST!! :D.

I was playing around with the nightshot effect on a vidcam

Stare into my eyes: Can you guess how I'm feeling?

If only something can make me smile right now....

I should be off to bed right now, but considerin the fact that I usually sleep pretty late..ehh just screw that ahah. I've been quite sad for the past few days not too sad..but just pretty down ..i wonder why? maybe it's just cos I'm a girl and I'm experiencing weird emotional breakdowns again or maybe it's just 'thaat' time of the month. ahahahaha. Whyy am I soo depressedd? D; and why do I always seem to start blogging when I feel depressed.  (In fact, this is the place where I basically blog about my feelings nd all that sh*eet pretty much LOL. It's like talking to an imaginary friend about random crap, cos' life is so depressing and I have no friends *sniff, sniff* lolol) Yesterday, (as in 2 hrs ago) I spent the last few hrs listening to sad songs and making myself cry - trying to make myself feel better by letting it all out but nooo the sad songs didn't work and it just feels terrible that you can't cry when you need to T_T. My friend Tim said "And your heart feels like theres a stone tied to it". Not any type of sad songs... sad love songs mainly - like I'm wishing for someone to be ther ..with me, right here beside me, a shoulder to lean on and a lap to cry on. Can't you see I neeed you baabeey?~ LOL i just felt like saying that.. I'm down because, I feel like I want someone's love and they just don't have that love for you? But that's pretty crazy haha because I have no one who I really want atm - guys suckk and they can just go dig themselves a little hole and stay in there until they realise how big of a dick they usually are. =____________=" eugh or maybe it's that feeling of loneliness - baby I'm so lonely, lonely, lonely loneeely loneely. (2ne1 ftw) jk..its not. Idk, I'd just have to wait and see what my heart tells me to do nxt.. aiyahh..my heart D; Lol<3

<3 
<3

-There's always that one person who can make you very mad but can wipe away your tears and plant a smile on your face in a flash-

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LUNAR NEW YEAR

Photo Caption: ICE CREAMS MOTHAFKCERS, HAPPY CHINESE(LUNAR) NEW YR!

Chinese New Year

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Even worse - the fact that I didn't go back to China and see all my family again just made me real uncomfortable because today is usually a special day where all our family gather together to have a nice big dinner to celebrate. And we'd all be taking large amounts of phtoos and one massive family photo in this event :). I miss that warm, loving, family atmosphere. When I was a kid I just took it for granted and now I realise how special it is to be around your relatives (Back then I only cared about playing on my NDS and playing wit my boy cousins nd running around chasing after them XD cos' I was that much of a tomboy) Not that I can't have one wit my family here in NZ, but our family just..seems so far apart, and it's the ppl close to us that brings us together :).